We've come a long way, plus there was a haircut in the mix.

What a Christmas weekend it was!

This time last year, Caleb was 2 months old and already crying because he only wanted me. Needless to say, last Christmas and New Year's were a bit challenging. BUT NOT THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm convinced it started with his big boy haircut; one that was a long time coming but i don't really think i was ready to commit to until last week when i got really tired of chasing him around the house every time i needed to comb it. I made the decision to take him on Thursday after school. I did. He got it cut and he looked like a COMPLETELY different kid. I still have a hard time remembering what he use to look like with his little Lion's Mane. My baby became a boy in about 10 minutes. AFterwards, we headed to visit some friends whom he hasn't seen since his birthday party and he didn't cry AT ALL. I started to wonder if my kid had been switched at the salon. He was so pleasant and playful. So unlike the Caleb that walked into the salon with all that crazy hair.

What really convinced me was when we were over my Aunt's house for Christmas Eve and my Sister-in-law's for Christmas Day.

Christmas Eve was the beginning of the brand new Caleb Carter. Of course, with my family there's always loud music and one of my Aunts is a screamer and he didn't cry. He would just laugh and of course dance. He would look at people's feet while they danced and then stretch out his arms so they could dance with him. Ernest and I were amazed at our little boy. We were proud parents. He fell in love with his cousin Joshua, who's also been waiting a long time for this Caleb. They played and Caleb attacked him. They had a blast. There is one cousin still waiting. My cousin Claudia. Soon, Claudia. Soon. He'll come around and then you'll want to return him.

When i tell you he didn't cry once, i mean, NOT EVEN ONCE! He played, took pictures, sat on laps, let his cousins hold him and take him to places in the house i wasn't in. I HAD TWO MEALS WITHOUT CALEB ATTACHED TO MY LEG. That was big. Last year i couldn't even leave the room. This year, i left all rooms and when he needed me, he looked for me, cuddled and then left again. I was so proud of him. Both Ernest and I could go and mingle. I did have to tell myself a couple of times to walk away and that it would be ok. I did't quite know what to do with the new found freedom. It was weird. I did walk away, however and it felt good.

I was happiest for his cousin Dana who just adores him and finally got her boy. It was a long road for her as well. It was so nice to watch them together. She would pick him up and take him upstairs and he didn't cry. That was really big. Then he was scaring his cousin Grace and saying her name. Side note: he also says Laila; his friend's name. He was hanging with his big cousin Marc,letting Grandma hold him, letting his aunties approach him, even cousins Geoff and Brian were in on the action. Geoff was the indifferent one. The one who made the choice to let Caleb come around when he was ready and it paid off. These were huge accomplishments for my big boy. He's copying the sounds of words, babbling all the time and his love and obsession for his dad only grows stronger every day. He wakes his dad up every morning to play. Sometimes he's successful and others he has to wait a bit, but never, ever has Ernest been upset because Caleb has woken him up. He, instead turns to Caleb, kisses him and tries to cuddle with him, while Caleb escapes because he just wants to play with his dad. If Ernest laughs, Caleb laughs. He follows his father around everywhere, and is now getting upset when he sees his dad getting dressed and putting on his jacket

We're very happy parents. It really was an amazing Christmas. Enjoy the pictures.

Every morning!

This is an old picture, but it captures exactly what every morning is like when i leave Caleb at day care. Someone please HELP!
Thanks, Dana for taking this beautiful picture...well, let's be real, almost every picture was like this back then. At lease now he smiles.

So much going on in Caleb's life.

Caleb's doing great in Day Care. He's doing this funny thing of obviously crying when i leave him (it wouldn't be him if he didn't), being completely fine during the day and then letting out this painful cry when he's picked up. Both Ernest and my mother have said that when they get to the classroom, he's playing or watching tv but as soon as he sees them he just cries. Is it happiness? Has he held it in all day? Hard to tell. But it's good to hear that as soon as i'm out of sight he functions normally and pleasantly.

This morning I asked his teacher if parents were invited to the Christmas party - she said yes, but she also said, "i wouldn't recommend that you come to the Christmas party because Caleb has a hard time letting you go and he's been doing so well, i wouldn't want him to take a step back." It hurt so much to hear that i couldn't be there. As a parent, you want to participate in those sorts of things but i also understand that it wouldn't be good for him. He has made lots of progress and i wouldn't want to get in the way of that. When i told Ernest about it i cried. No wonder Caleb's such a crier. I cry all the time about the silliest things.

Don't be surprised if the next time you see Caleb you'll be seeing a boy who does not use a Pacifier all the time. With the school's help, we're weaning him off the Tete (as he says). At school, they only give it to him in a desperate moment or when he naps. That's really once a day. When he's picked up, the Tete is not given to him unless necessary. However, after his bottle in his crib he starts to look for it. He knows it's usually clipped to his top so he starts to run his hand around the front of his PJs. It's pretty cute.

I have noticed that more and more the blankie is becoming much more important than before. Ernest says that it's "the parent" who creates the blankie/tete obsession but i truly believe that because of all the changes he's going through at the moment, i.e. walking, new classroom, etc. the world becomes a very scary place. He knows that we touch the blankie and that it lives at home as well, therefore, it gives him a sense of security. It makes him feel like he's taking home with him, or us with him. I don't mind the blankie as much as his Tete, to be honest.

Then there are the molars. FOUR of them to be exact. AT THE SAME TIME! He's actually been pretty good. No real discomfort or fevers, but there is some waking up in the middle of the night. Those are always fun, especially when you've seen the light at the end of the sleep deprivation tunnel. The last thing you want EVER is to go back to having to wake up 2 or 3 times a night. It is what it is and he'll be fine and so will we.

Speaking of teeth, Caleb now brushes his teeth...well, he chews on the bristles and eats the toothpaste but he loves it. I sit him on the sink and we both brush. Ernest started taking him in the bathroom with him when he would brush and Caleb took an interest so we got him started. Everyday after breakfast and before bed. He likes to point out that Dora and Diego are on his toothbrush. He enjoys it. Sometimes he doesn't want to stop brushing and then we argue and he throws a tantrum but his Barney (or Baba, in a whisper) towel fixes that problem. He also brushes at school where he has a toothbrush and toothpaste.

He's been doing this thing of standing in front of his toy box and just taking everything out and throwing it behind him. We've gotten hit by things but it's so funny to watch. Oh and the dancing. The never ending dancing. It's amazing. He loves it. He dances to the Alarm sound on Ernest's phone. On his piano, he'll press the music button until he finds the song BINGO and then he's dancing up a storm. I can't wait to see what all that dancing turns into.

We're really excited about everything that's going on with our Caleb Carter. Tantrums aside, he's a really great kid. So funny. He's been following Ernest all around the house. It's been great watching that relationship grow. He loves his papa. That's all he says all day. Say Mama to him and he'll respond with Papa. Great, right? In all seriousness, i love that. Caleb could not have a better male figure in his life. He's lucky to have a father like Ernest who loves him and will always be there for him. He plays with him, takes him to the doctor and the park, he kisses, hugs, spoils, and teaches Caleb everyday. How could we ask for anything more.

And now we'll start the process of potty training. Too early? I don't think so. In my family, i can't remember a kid reaching the age of 2 still in diapers, myself included. Aside from diapers being so expensive these days, the whole changing diapers business is just getting tiresome. I don't think that potty training will take a day but at least there are end results and a light at the end of that tunnel. Personally, i can't wait till i don't have to change another diaper...for Caleb.

So while we head in the direction of a new milestone, enjoy these pictures for now.

Official first word!!!!!

On Monday, Caleb started his first day in the Toddler room and while he was ok for the 15 extra minutes i stayed with him (playing with toys, walking around, etc.), once i left, it was just awful. He immediately started to cry. I felt awful and had to walk out of there with tears in my eyes. That was really difficult. He knows now that he's in a strange place with strange people and it was really scary for him. He cried all day long. When he was picked up by Ernest later that day, his eyes were puffy and red. Poor little guy. Tuesday was the same, but Wednesday and yesterday were slightly better. This morning when i left him, he was not crying like he had been, and in fact, when we went in, he saw the teacher he's with all day and stretched out his arms to her. I took that as a good sign. They told me he ate better yesterday and spent more time just participating and enjoying being there. THANK GOODNESS!!!

Caleb's not one to warm up quickly to anything or anyone, so it's really good to hear that he's doing better. I figure once he gets into the routine and sees how much freer to walk around he is there, he will do just fine.

The worst part has been noticing that his sleep has been interrupted by his anxiety of the new faces. Monday and Tuesday I was forced to let him sleep in the bed with us and it was no fun. He's uncomfortable there, and so are we. He put up a bit of a fight on Wednesday but he did stay in his crib and last night Ernest was on baby duty and says that he had no problem putting him to bed. However, he was up a few times during the night.

It's been quite an exhausting week, to say the least. We're just hoping that he'll do better today, and next week, and the week after. He will be home with me for Xmas break and I know getting him back to Day Care after a full week at home is going to be tough. It'll be like stating all over again.

On the bright side, he's walking, babbling, letting us know what he wants by taking us by the hand, and so many other wonderful things.

The big news is that he now knows that Ernest is Papa. He'll look in the bedroom and say Papa, as if asking me where he is, or he'll stand outside the bathroom and knock on the door saying Papa. We have a picture frame of Ernest and Caleb and now he looks at it and says Papa. I love it. If Ernest is home, we'll go in the bedroom because he'll say Papa, Papa, Papa, and take my hand to walk with him. He asks me to put him on the bed next to Ernest and he'll get very close to his face and say Papa. It's so sweet.

Personally, i'm so happy this is happening. I do wish he would keep hanging out with his dad even when i'm home. I mean, if that's his first official word then make it extra special by always being with him and perhaps leaving me alone for an hour. Is that too much to ask? Don't get me wrong, i love being mommy but sometimes it's nice to watch them just enjoy each other and ignore me.

I'm trying to get a video of Caleb saying Papa to Ernest so i can post it here. It's hard because as soon as Caleb sees the camera he stops doing everything. We'll see what happens. In the meantime, enjoy this picture. It's my absolute favorite in the last 14 months.

Just THe Way You Are

By the way, can anyone believe this is the same kid? How little.

So after these past 14 months i'm happy to say that i wouldn't change a thing. Yes, i was tired. Yes, i cried all the time, and yes there were days when i thought i wouldn't survive any of it, BUT here i am, happier and stronger than i've ever been. Caleb has such an incredible personality. Laid back, funny, expressive, and when necessary, willful and stubborn. I feel like he's going to be just fine in the world and our only job is to protect him and encourage all of his wonderful abilities. Which brings me to this realization: MY BOY IS A DANCER! Put some music and and you'll see what i mean. I know most kids like music and will move along to it but Caleb takes it beyond the norm. He knows the kind of music he likes and will ask you to play it if only by giving you back the cell phone or pointing to the musical toy if it's playing something he doesn't like. For example: He has a keyboard on which he's learned what to press to play his songs, but that's not all, he will press that button until his favorite two songs come on and then he'll start dancing and clapping along. Sometimes he'll sing along. It's beautiful to watch that little boy enjoy himself so much with a 30 second song. Then, of course, he has to play it over and over and over again. He also has a favorite show which he dances along to as well. Really, at our house there's always a party when Caleb's around.

He's also understanding more language. I even think he understands both English and Spanish. He's following simple instructions but also continuing to test the limits when he knows he's not suppose to touch something. We're getting there - slowly but surely.

Last night i realized that he has added two new words to his vocabulary: Pop (one of the lyrics to a Fresh Beat Band song) and Think, or "ting" (a lyric from the Blue's Clues song). "Think" is the best because the song goes: "We sit down in our thinking chair and think, think, thiiiinnnnk" and Steve puts his hand on his head as if he's thinking so Caleb does the same thing. Maybe he'll be a musician since his only two words other than Mama and Papa are lyrics.

Another thing we've noticed is that he's loving the mirror. Put a shirt on him and he has to go to the mirror to look at himself. He comes back, put his shoes on and walks back to the mirror. Once he's completely dressed he stands in front of the mirror and just stares and his jacket must be put on in front of the mirror. Needless to say that this might be a problem later on but for now it's very cute.

Well that's it for now. Soon i'll post some more updates.

Can't believe it's been a year!

it's been over a month since i posted. No excuses. Just haven't posted. Caleb is well on his way to walking. He, in fact, spent this weekend going longer distances and standing alone for much longer periods. it's all so exciting. Sometimes we just watch him take steps. We stare. Frozen. Because we don't want to ruin the moment. Because we don't want to interrupt such an amazing accomplishment. Then when he makes it to the couch we just smile and clap for him. He smiles back. He knows exactly what's happened. We're so proud.

He also had his huge 1st birthday. Amazing time. It was so nice to see everyone who's been so attentive of Caleb ever since he was born. Always asking about him and visiting him. We felt so lucky that Caleb will have all these people to go to when he needs advice or just to get away from mom and dad cuz we're being 'totally uncool'. He did so well without a nap and so many faces he doesn't see often. He also had his first haircut and we went to see Yo Gabba Gabba Live. Both of these were very successful. Didn't cry at his haircut. In fact, he laughed and enjoyed himself and Yo Gabba Gabba Live was a great time for him too. He danced along the whole time. What a big boy he was on his birthday. I couldn't believe it. I cried when we were opening his presents and reading the cards. So many people love him and wished him nothing but great things and mommy felt overwhelmed. What a lucky boy!

He's much better about new people these days. Ernest took him to a friends house for a couple of hours last week and the report was that he didn't cry once. I did not go. I'm convince that's the reason why. He, however, does smile, wave, and babble to strangers on the bus, on the street, in restaurants. So i think he's doing really well in that respect. It's also probably the independence he's feeling. The freedom that's coming with not having to depend on us to get him places anymore. Mommy and daddy are excited about that too, but there is a sadness we're both feeling about that too, obviously.

Oh, here's a funny update. Caleb has moved on from Yo Gabba Gabba. Well, not completely, but he watches other things too. His new obsession is the Fresh Beat Band. Four friends who have formed a band called The Fresh Beats. It's a musical show with dancing. Caleb Carter loves the music and the dance and so it's a perfect fit. It's actually a really good show and the kids are really talented. No weird monsters, or crazy colors. Just normal people who go to school and sing about good things. So as soon as the show starts the stares at me with the biggest smile on his face. Then their theme song starts and he looks over at me so that i sing, cuz of course, now i know almost every song from the show. So i sing. He dances and then...
HE SINGS ALONG!!!! One of the girls, Kiki holds a note and Caleb sings along with the note. Just a simple AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. It is the cutest thing. His scrunch face is cute but the singing along is much cuter. He even copies some things he sees in the episode. His favorite is one called Loco Legs. Unfortunately it got deleted from our DVR but we'll catch it again. He's just happy to watch them.

So there it is. Some new stuff on Caleb. I'll try to blog again soon. Enjoy the pics!

Baby steps!

UGH and YAY! is all i have to say to that. I'm so proud that he's taking steps and at the same time it's extremely sad to watch my baby quickly becoming a toddler. I'm not very fond of that word. In fact it scares me a bit. Seems like just yesterday Caleb and I sat in our special chair a couple of times a night and bonded while i fed him. Just yesterday he slept in his bassinet and just yesterday i was hearing him cry for the first time. How time flies. On the other hand, he's more independent and i don't have to hold him 24 hours a day.

When does it stop bothering me that he no longer needs me as much? I know. I know. He'll always need me but never like this first year. Now i know why mom's never let go of their sons. Sheesh! I won't do that but the temptation is huge, especially when said son wants nothing and no one but you. I WON'T. I PROMISE.

So now he's taking some steps. Another move towards becoming free of mom and dad's arms and hands. It hurts but it's the best feeling in the world knowing how far he's come. He's so healthy and thriving beautifully that i can't imagine him in any other way. I so badly want him to walk and just as badly don't want him to but i guess that's the challenge. We do what's best for our kids even if it means we're not quite ready to let go.

He's about to turn 1 in less than a month. Walking, babbling, stretching his arms out so i can hug and hold him in the mornings when he wakes up. Our goal is to always encourage the kindness in him. That part that makes him want to open-mouth kiss us out of the blue. The part that makes him walk up to his grandma because he hears her (pretend) crying. He's so beautiful and honest. I get very emotional when i think about him and what a blessing he's been to us. He'll always be my baby. The one i held for the first time almost a year ago. The one that slept between us on his first night home because neither one of us had the heart to put him anywhere else. I miss that baby but the reality is that we couldn't be happier with the boy he's becoming.

We've got so much time to enjoy him and our job as parents will never end but full independence of Caleb is around the corner, well, at least once he starts to really walk. Baby steps at the moment are not only his but also ours. Ernest and I are so in the process of learning to let go...let's be honest, me. I'm taking baby steps towards letting go. Ernest can't wait till he's walking, talking, running and all other fun activities. I cry any time he does something new because it makes me happy and it hurts at the same time. I'm rambling.

Here are a couple of pics.